Chinese and Indonesians Learning About Partnership with Americans

I just returned from doing partnership training for about 20 leaders from all over China and then about 20 from all over Indonesia. The training was about how to partner well with churches like yours. Some of my colleagues also came and helped lead parts of it.

It made me feel how hard it is from their side. Our churches like to get good reports to help us feel informed. In Indonesia, they don't have a culture of writing. One of the participants had a Ph.D., and he said in his whole educational career he was never asked to write anything longer than two pages. One of the Chinese leaders said he is fearful of writing more than any other thing in ministry! That's saying something in a country where Christian work can get you hauled in for questioning by the police at any moment.

Then there are the cross-cultural differences. One Indonesian leader was talking about how a team that came "demanded" something in the schedule and they just complied. Demanded? We talked a lot about cultural differences, how Indonesians are soft-spoken, indirect, like to preserve harmony. Americans are more direct, quick to give suggestions, and if you don't say anything in response they assume you agree. What was just a recommendation from a group that was likely open to hearing alternatives came across sounding like a demand that hurt her feelings.

On the writing part, what seemed to work best was the examples I used of good reporting from Africa and India. Somehow just seeing a model encouraged people. Even the guy who felt fearful of writing said he thought he could do this. The Chinese group especially was fascinated with the examples. They don't get to hear much about the Church in other countries. They were surprised that we have partners doing such pioneering work, and in China they feel the Church is more developed than that now. They wondered if they could help somehow, and asked, "Can you be the bridge?" This was very cool, a development beyond what I expected. They were getting a sense that maybe the Church in China can be a blessing to other parts of the world.

Another thing that worked really well was that we did a lot of work in small groups where they talked about issues and shared their thoughts with each other. The Asian way is usually someone talking and everyone else listening. For the Chinese group, this was a stretch, but they did it. The Indonesians loved it, one said, "This training doesn't feel like training at all, it feels like we are having fun sharing with each other and yet we are still learning a lot!"

One of the hardest things about international partnership is that it's easy to see what the Americans are contributing to the partnership. Giving is easy to quantify. Sending people is an obvious help. These things make us feel like we are doing more than we really are, and makes them feel they are doing less than they really are. We see how we bless them; how do they bless us?

We had two sessions just on this topic. In one, the Indonesians came up with 27 ways they felt they could be a blessing to the American church. Then they prioritized them. I was sure that this one would be picked as #1: "Work together to reach the unreached peoples of Indonesia." After all, that is, in a nutshell, what we are all trying to do in partnership with them. But this one came out on top: "Develop friendships with them." Sweet, huh? They feel that getting to know us, praying for us, and helping us learn about Indonesia - things that happen through friendship - are most important of all. Seems a good place to start for a good partnership.